kenapa x buat sungguh2?

semalam saya ada presentation.presentation yang agak teruk. we got 50% out of 100%. the other group get 65%.actually, i dont really mind how much we get because it just numbers after all. what make me disappointed and angry were the comments.they, i mean all of them,the tutor and all seminar members were discriminating us.give a very bad comment, a cruel ones.we are not so bad.n they even not appreciate our efforts. ya,i accept we were not so great, but we're not that bad also.these people seem dont understand our presentation and dont want to try to understand how we think.it's not just about one type of solution to those question, and people tend to interpret it differently. it give us a space to come out with our own options, n how they say we are not answering the question? even the one who suppose to critic us doesn't doing their job rightly. we don't know from what angle they're taking for n which role they play for. n no one seem to see them as a BIG mistake. common la, it takes two to tango. bukan salah kami saja. first time, i been humiliated so badly after f4 English class some years ago.

but, kena muhasabah diri juga

n looked at myself.i'm not that great. i always wait something to come to me.i never really strive for it because i know that I'll get it. tentang keja, bank negara haven't reply my email yet( i wonder whether I've send it or not).see, i dont bother to send it once again or check on my email.n i haven't see Lisa Carr yet, eventho it had bees a week after her reply.i know i shud to this n that, but i never seem to care. live life mcm org paling malas dlm dunia.about he presentation, F(my fren)has to stand for me to get more slides so that everyone get equal opportunity to present. I'm so hopeless, didn't I?about my passion of photography, i dont have a camera yet-i mean the right one.macam mana nak amik gambar yang cantik kan? even, i realise i'm not so good in it.no one sees my work to be so great to be proud of.fikir sekali, apa nak kisah apa orang fikir kan? but, after all, gambar is to be appreciate.u're not taking pics just for fun of it, u want people to see n critic on it.but, if no one seems to care, it means no one interested in it. so, abik lupakan saja. a 3.2megapixel camera phone is enough to satisfy ur craziness of taking pictures.owh, awak malas lagi cik siti.jelas sekali it is not ur passion.aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, truly i live a very boring life right now.like i said before, i can die in this boredom.really, anyone would die if they face this kind of life.talking about love, huh, perkara yg i thot saya paling benci sekali.jelas saya juga malas nak baca apa2 cerita or novel or barkaitan cinta. kdg2 contradict with what we stand for pun seronok juga.ni pun gara-gara pakcik Hakim yang dtg bagi talk selasa yang lepas. dia pesan suruh active kan all our nerves. to live in present. to be a remedy to all. a live a healthy life.especially spiritually, because by thinking positively, we can achieve almost anything in life.thanks pakcik Hakim. tak ternilai nilainya.walau guna MC2 ...
bagaikan uranium+platanium(betul ke bahan2 ni utk tenaga nukleur?)yg sedikit boleh menghasilkan distruction sehingga kini kesannnya, begitu juga cinta. saya bersalah kerana tidak mencari cinta dan persaudaraan sesama muslim.sy x berabis duit dan masa utk teman2 saya.saya juga tidak berusaha mengejar setiap manusia yang sudi menghulurkan persahabatan utk diri sy.owh sy mmg teruk, mungkin lebih teruk dr apa yg saya ceritakan.saya sgt kurang bercakap,terutama bila ada orang lain yang boleh bercakap utk saya.saya boleh senyum je sepanjang masa dan kekal senyap selama-selamanya.sy x tahu macam mana nak baiki diri saya ini.sudah rosak teruk, the body,the mind,the heart.sy tahu ini pinjaman dr Allah, dan sy tahu sehingga kini saya gagal menjaga nya dgn baik.sy mendera tubuh badan saya dengan makan+tido byk, jika dulu, masa sy kuat bersukan, sy abusively patahkan segala yg blh patah.fikiran sy terjejas dgn begitu byk persoalan2 philosophy,dengan debate2 yang sy sendiri x tahu mana puncanya,dengan pertarungan2 pendapat yg kdg2 mmg jelas salahnya.sy juga mendera hati sy dgn enggan menerima kasih syg org lain,menidakkan keperluan kasih syg dlm diri,menjauhkan hati sy dari kasih syg Allah,mengotorkannya dgn pelbagai perkara maksiat dan jahat yg sy lakukan.sy tidak ikhlas melakukan kerana Allah.maka, sy benar2 sakit sekarang ini.dan ubatnya saya tahu-kena bermula dgn diri sendiri,kena kembali kepada Allah...baru teringat sudah berapa lama sy tidak bercakap sendirian dengan-Nya.hanya kepada-Nya saya mampu berserah....